So I'm Sort of Dying....

So a few days ago my chest and throat start feeling a little weird it keeps getting worse and fast forward-it's friday night and I have eaten a total of 1/2 an uncrustable and 1/2 cup chicken broth because i can't swallow anything. And I CAN'T BREATHE and I'm not positive but I'm pretty sure thats a bad sign.  I dont know why, but I can only breathe really shallow short breaths and  anything like coughing, laughing and even normal breathing feel like someone is driving this little guy over my chest...

 So its to the hospital we go on saturday and YAY this was my first x-ray where I didn't actually have a broken bone ( Lets knock on wood for that one because we all know I don't need to revisit this!) 

Any way after several x-rays and tests, the doctors concluded that I have severely damaged my esophagus. Then I remembered the other night, when the water got turned off , and I had just taken some medicine. I didn't think anything of not having some H20 to wash the tiny pill down with I just swallowed. Apparently it got stuck in my throat and dissolved there and severely burned my esophagus, and I didnt help matters when the next night (before any symptoms showed) I went for some delicious 

Mexican Food! AY! AY! AY!

Not a great plan when you burn the crap out of the lining of you're throat . Needless to say my spicy enchiladas and tortilla chips weren't too kind to my newly destroyed thorax and I ended up with a big huge tear in my esophagus because of it all.

It will heal itself but in the meantime no deep breathing, laugh attacks, yelling, talking a lot or general loudness. And you  know my loving family all took this opportunity to keep the jokes coming. OK guys we know  quiet alyssa = oxymoron. funny funny.

Well now my life for the next two weeks consists of:

But hey my new soft foods diet means I'm

 one step closer to the retirement home, depends diapers,               

and from partying it up with these sassy ladies.